Cohabitation and divorce
“Families are disintegrating. I must tell you now, My children, the family must be returned to the holy state it was constructed for. We shall never approve nor accept marriage and cohabitation, without marriage. We shall not accept the annulments that are being given now to so many without due cause.”
- The Bayside Prophecies
Our Lady of the Roses, September 27, 1986
“And He saith to them: Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if the wife shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.”
- (St. Mark 10: 11-12)
“Know you not that the unjust shall not possess the kingdom of God? Do not err: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor the effeminate, nor liers with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor railers, nor extortioners, shall possess the kingdom of God.”
- (1 Corinthians 6:9)
The Church wants it known that the difficulties and sufferings of Catholics in irregular marriage situations merits special attention, and that the Church loves them, that she is not far from them and suffers because of their situation. In the United States, 27 percent of all children under 18 years of age—or 6.3 million children—live with a single parent. In 1960, the number of such children was 243,000. The Holy Father emphasizes that only by a return to the Gospel will mankind find the strength and direction needed for stable family life:
The Church is deeply convinced that only by the acceptance of the Gospel are the hopes that man legitimately places in marriage and in the family capable of being fulfilled. (Familiaris Consortio, #3)
Church teaching on divorce
Pope John Paul II tells us that "The Church offers her services to every person who wonders about the destiny of marriage and the family." (Familiaris Consortio, #1) He has reminded the shepherds of the Church that it is their duty to bring to families the unchangeable Gospel of Jesus Christ in all its fullness and clarity. In response to this call of the Holy Father, various bishops in the United States have written pastoral letters addressing the issue of divorce, notably, the bishops of Pennsylvania:
For a person to remarry while a previous marriage is presumed to be valid, even though a civil divorce has been granted, is to enter a relationship which violates the teachings of Christ: "The man who divorces his wife and marries another is guilty of adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she is guilty of adultery too" (Mk. 10:11-12). ("In truth and love," Pennsylvania bishops, July 29, 1994)
Of great concern to the Holy Father is the number of Catholics involved in second "marriages", while their legitimate spouse is still alive. Not only is this in contradiction to the words of Jesus Christ Himself (Mk. 10:11-12), but also places these couples in the peril of their eternal souls. Our Holy Father has often reached out to those in irregular marriage situations, lovingly admonishing them to return to the practice of their Catholic faith by regularizing their situation and making a firm purpose of amendment, by confession and taking concrete steps to separate themselves from an adulterous relationship. In the words of Pope John Paul II:
Various reasons can unfortunately lead to the often irreparable breakdown of valid marriages. These include mutual lack of understanding and the inability to enter into personal relationships. Obviously, separation must be considered as a last resort, after all other reasonable attempts at reconciliation have proved vain.
Loneliness and other difficulties are often the lot of separated spouses, especially when they are the innocent parties. The ecclesial community must support such people more than ever. It must give them much respect, solidarity, understanding, and practical help, so that they can preserve their fidelity even in their difficult situation; and it must help them to cultivate the need to forgive which is inherent in Christian love, and to be ready perhaps to return to their former married life.
The situation is similar for people who have undergone divorce, but, being well aware that the valid marriage bond is indissoluble, refrain from becoming involved in a new union and devote themselves solely to carrying out their family duties and the responsibilities of Christian life. In such cases, their example of fidelity and Christian consistency takes on particular value as a witness before the world and the Church. (Familiaris Consortio, “The Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World,” Pope John Paul II, #83)
Statement by the Pontifical Council for the Family:
Pastors should therefore care for those who suffer the consequences of divorce, especially the children. They should be concerned for everyone, and, in constant harmony with the truth of marriage and the family, they should try to soothe the wound inflicted on this sign of Christ's covenant with the Church.
At the same time, the Catholic Church cannot remain indifferent to the increasing number of these situations, nor can she surrender in the face of a custom resulting from a mentality that attacks marriage as an exclusive indissoluble commitment, just as she cannot approve of anything that disparages the very nature of marriage. (“Recommendations for care of ‘divorced,’” Pontifical Council for the Family, January 22-25, 1997)
Break one Commandment: The gates of hell are open to you
Our Lady of the Roses has said, “There is not one soul who will be given to satan without having given of his own will. Satan can only claim you through your will.” (Our Lady, February 1, 1974) And as Our Lord says in the Gospel of St. John, “If you love Me, keep My Commandments.” (Jn. 14:15) If we say we love God but do not keep the Commandments, we are deceiving ourselves.
Our Lady of Fatima told Jacinta that more souls go to hell for sins of the flesh than any other reason. Our Lady of the Roses likewise stated:
"Yes, My child, We look upon a world that has given itself to satan. The people of the world and the nations now degrade themselves in debauchery, fornication, and all sins of the flesh. More souls, My child, are going into hell because of these sins of the flesh. They are falling into hell as fast as the snowflakes that fall from the heavens." (Our Lady, June 18, 1974)
Scandal and the occasion of sin
Our anti-Christian culture and media have contributed greatly to the breakdown in family life and marital fidelity. As Our Lady of the Roses has mentioned many times, the media portrays a way of life that is not akin to the life of the Gospel. We should heed Our Lady's words because exposure to such un-Christian example can certainly affect us, even if we don't perceive it immediately. Our Holy Father has also warned the faithful: "Living in such a world, under the pressures coming above all from the mass media, the faithful do not always remain immune from the obscuring of certain fundamental values..." (FC, #7)
Despite bad influences, poor moral education, or erroneous information even from priests, the Catholic faithful are obliged to correctly form their consciences according to the mind of the Church. Truth is obtained by conforming the mind to reality. As a cardinal once said, "Truth is not voted on, it is found." But unfortunately many Catholics have adopted a "cafeteria Catholicism" approach, of picking and choosing what teachings they want to believe, and discarding those that contradict their sinful lifestyle. The Church's teaching on marriage is one such teaching that is frequently discarded. The Holy Father has frequently emphasized that such an attitude is not permissible, and that
The aim of pastoral action will be to make these people [divorced-and-remarried Catholics] understand the need for consistency between their choice of life and the faith that they profess, and to try to do everything possible to induce them to regularize their situation in the light of Christian principles. (FC, #82)
Scandal
As marriage is a public sacrament, those who divorce and remarry add the sin of scandal to that of adultery. Family, friends and acquaintances are certainly affected by this infidelity to the teachings of the Church. For those who are weak in their faith, or confused, such a public repudiation of the sacrament of marriage cannot help but have a negative effect:
Scandal is much more than a vague discomfort people experience when they see someone doing something wrong. The more serious danger of scandal is that in witnessing such situations others will be confused, weakened and misled into immoral behavior themselves. ("In truth and love," Pennsylvania bishops, July 29, 1994)
Occasion of sin
Furthermore, cohabitation (living together) is a proximate occasion of sin. As Catholics we are obliged to avoid proximate occasions of sin (those that may easily lead a person into sin), and living together is certainly such an occasion of sin.
No compromise
Some clergy have through their permissiveness and misrepresentation of authentic Church teaching actually caused great harm to divorced-and-remarried Catholics. By a watered-down presentation of Church teachings, such clergy are actually guilty of placing a roadblock against an authentic conversion of couples in adulterous unions. This erroneous advice is the "unacceptable pastoral initiatives" mentioned by the bishops of Pennsylvania in their document, "In truth and love." Such permissiveness has likewise been addressed in Our Lady of the Roses message:
"Permissiveness shall not be accepted by your God. Sin is sin; there is no compromise for sin. Mortal sin is a grievous offense to the Eternal Father. The Commandments shall be followed without permissiveness." (Jesus, November 21, 1977)
As indicated below, the Holy Father has on numerous occasions stated and re-stated the Church's constant and unchangeable teaching regarding divorced-and-remarried Catholics.
Divorced and remarried must refrain from Holy Communion
When divorced Catholics enter a civil union the Church, faithful to Our Lord's teaching (Mk. 10:2-9), cannot give any public or private sign that might seem in any way to legitimize the adulterous union. This is clearly expressed in many official Church statements.
Statements by Pope John Paul II:
The aim of pastoral action will be to make these people [Catholics in civil marriages] understand the need for consistency between their choice of life and the faith that they profess, and to try to do everything possible to induce them to regularize their situation in the light of Christian principles. While treating them with great charity and bringing them into the life of the respective communities, the pastors of the Church will regrettably not be able to admit them to the sacraments." (Familiaris Consortio, Pope John Paul II, #82)
However, let these men and women know that the Church loves them, that she is not far from them and suffers because of their situation. The divorced and remarried are and remain her members, because they have received Baptism and retain their Christian faith. Of course, a new union after divorce is a moral disorder, which is opposed to precise requirements deriving from the faith, but this must not preclude a commitment to prayer and to the active witness of charity.
As I wrote in the Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris consortio, the divorced and remarried cannot be admitted to Eucharistic Communion since "their state and condition of life objectively contradict that union of love between Christ and the Church which is signified and effected by the Eucharist" (n. 84). And this is by virtue of the very authority of the Lord, Shepherd of Shepherds, who always seeks his sheep. It is also true with regard to Penance whose twofold yet single meaning of conversion and reconciliation is contradicted by the state of life of divorced and remarried couples who remain such. (Pope John Paul II, January 24, 1997)
The Vatican Congregation on the Doctrine of the Faith:
...this congregation deems itself obliged therefore to recall the doctrine and discipline of the Church in this matter. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ, the Church affirms that a new union cannot be recognized as valid if the preceding marriage was valid. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God's law. Consequently, they cannot receive holy Communion as long as this situation persists.
This norm is not at all a punishment or a discrimination against the divorced and remarried, but rather expresses an objective situation that of itself renders impossible the reception of holy Communion.
They are unable to be admitted thereto from the fact that their state and condition of life objectively contradict that union of love between Christ and his Church which is signified and effected by the Eucharist. Besides this, here is another special pastoral reason: If these people were admitted to the Eucharist, the faithful would be led into error and confusion regarding the church's teaching about the indissolubility of marriage.
The faithful who persist in such a situation may receive holy Communion only after obtaining sacramental absolution, which may be given only to those who, repenting of having broken the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, are sincerely ready to undertake a way of life that is no longer in contradiction to the indissolubility of marriage...
Members of the faithful who live together as husband and wife with persons other than their legitimate spouses may not receive holy Communion. Should they judge it possible to do so, pastors and confessors, given the gravity of the matter and the spiritual good of these persons, as well as the common good of the Church, have the serious duty to admonish them that such a judgment of conscience openly contradicts the church's teaching. Pastors in their teaching must also remind the faithful entrusted to their care of this doctrine. (“Concerning the Reception of Holy Communion by divorced and remarried members of the faithful,” Vatican Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, October 14, 1994)
Pontifical Council for Legislative Texts:
"Those who are publicly unworthy are forbidden from receiving the Divine Eucharist" (can. 712). In effect, the reception of the Body of Christ when one is publicly unworthy constitutes an objective harm to the ecclesial communion: it is a behavior that affects the rights of the Church and of all the faithful to live in accord with the exigencies of that communion. In the concrete case of the admission to holy Communion of faithful who are divorced and remarried, the scandal, understood as an action that prompts others towards wrongdoing, affects at the same time both the sacrament of the Eucharist and the indissolubility of marriage. That scandal exists even if such behavior, unfortunately, no longer arouses surprise: in fact it is precisely with respect to the deformation of the conscience that it becomes more necessary for Pastors to act, with as much patience as firmness, as a protection to the sanctity of the Sacraments and a defense of Christian morality, and for the correct formation of the faithful. (“Declaration on divorced and remarried persons,” Pontifical Council for Legislative Texts, June 24, 2000)
Pennsylvania bishops’ conference:
Others who know that divorced Catholics remain members of the Church and understand that those who have entered into irregular marriages cannot be admitted to holy Communion react to this moral reality in different ways. Those who understand the teaching of the Church on the indissolubility of marriage and on sexual morality regard this practice as fitting since the couple have placed themselves in an objectively adulterous situation that stands in direct violation of the teaching of Christ and his Church. Others look upon this practice as the mere imposition of Church regulations or rules which they view as outdated in a society where so many marriages end in divorce. Some have proposed an approach that would allow divorced and remarried persons who, for any number of reasons, have not received a declaration of nullity of their first marriage(s) to receive holy communion on the basis of their sincere judgment of conscience that their first marriage was invalid. This so-called "internal forum solution" has also been invoked to justify reception of holy Communion by persons in other objectively immoral situations.
We believe that those who promote unacceptable pastoral initiatives among divorced Catholics are in fact harming the spiritual welfare of those very persons they intend to help, and as shepherds of the flock we are concerned that the faithful not be misled in this regard.
In light of the serious confusion that sometimes occurs in this matter, we need to enunciate once again that divorced Catholics in irregular unions are not permitted to receive the Eucharist. The Catechism of the Catholic Church helps us to understand the theological and pastoral reasons for this necessary restriction....
The consequences of scandal are very real in the case of persons receiving the Eucharist without the proper moral disposition. Permitted divorced-and-invalidly-remarried persons and those living in other morally objectionable relationships to receive the Eucharist is potentially a source of great confusion and disunity within the body of Christ as well as a source of scandal. If the Church were to allow this practice it would itself become a participant in the trends of our society that undermine the stability of marriage and family life. This would, of course, be completely contrary to its divine mission to be the "salt of the earth" and "light of the world" in speaking and teaching about the sacrament of matrimony. The ministers of the Gospel, then, would have succumbed to the influence of secular culture rather than struggling to transform the sinful world through the power of the Gospel of Christ. (“In truth and love,” Pennsylvania bishops’ conference, July 29, 1994)
Those who have left the narrow road of Christ are in great need of prayerful support and charitable fraternal correction. If you or someone you know has left a valid Catholic marriage and become involved in another relationship, the Church’s sacrament of confession is ready to grant pardon and peace. You or someone you know may have made a seriously wrong choice in the past that did not include God. Now is the time to make another choice, a good and holy choice, one that will include God and permit a return to the life of grace and the embrace of God’s love.
“O My child and My children, never have We seen from the beginning of time a world in such chaos. And also, I shall not speak with words that affright your heart, my child, but I wish it known that this new modern role of what they call 'marriage without marriage'—which means living as 'common-law,' I understand, My children—shall not be tolerated in Heaven. It was never the plan of the Eternal Father that man and woman shall live as animals.
“Fornication shall never be accepted. There is no excuse for fornication. If you cannot remain celibate, better then that you must then be married. It is better, My child and My children, to be married than to burn in hell.
“I also ask that all of My children of the world review the Ten Commandments.”
- The Bayside Prophecies
Our Lady of the Roses, November 1, 1985
Veronica - Jesus wants you to know that many marriages are not approved of by Heaven. The example within the homes have led many children onto the road to hell. There will be no rationalization of adultery, there will be no rationalization of the breaking up of the home in divorce. Marriages, consummated and blessed by God the Father, shall not be dissolved by the whims of man.
Know ye now that satan rules throughout your world for a short time. He has the power to turn the husband against his spouse, and the wife against her husband. Know you now that you cannot escape the fires of hell if you dissolve a marriage blessed by God the Father. It is permanent, and in the eyes of God, permanent unto death.
- The Bayside Prophecies
October 2, 1973
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